| AUG | 5 | MON |
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I'm still here
A lot has happened irl. Like, a lot lot. Pair that with my unending struggle with executive dysfunction, it's a dangerous combination of running away from personal responsibilities. But still, I think about my website every once in a while. I feel a bit guilty(?) not updating it as frequently as I would have wanted but I think I should be kinder to myself. Anyway! I didn't post here to sulk, I'm mainly here to catch up on stuff that happened to me.
June: My recent otome playthroughs got me feeling inspired and mushy, and inspiration hit me hard like a truck for a fic idea while my past WIPs in my folder side eyes me. I wrote and wrote and wrote until I finally posted a new fic in two years! It's multichaptered and I already accepted that the scope of it is way out of my skillset lmao but I really didn't care... until it got past 100 kudos then suddenly I have to care, the people-pleaser that I am. Hopefully I can finish it before my self-imposed deadline of September 20 because I plan on joining a fanfic workshop organized by someone I admire and it requires some samples of my writing heh. Also! I watched VNL 2024 with my sister and her bestie for three days straight and it was great! We rooted for JPN and they won on the three days that we watched yay! However, my body crashed hard because my immune system has gone to shit and I got sick until mid-July.
July: DAWNTRAIL RELEASE! Actually... XIV has been a big chunk of reason why I haven't updated lmao I swear that game has an iron grip on my attention span everytime I come back from a long break. Finished MSQ (it was okay... I think Endwalker spoiled me tbh but I don't really blame DT for not blowing me away cuz I didn't have much expectations about it). Chugged a lot of vitamins in an attempt to feel any bit better. Was coughing sporadically until mid-July. Sulking that I couldn't write because I feel like shit. My fiance booked a very spontaneous flight to my country for August because we couldn't wait any longer until my visa arrives. Had a bit of family issues (still have) because I feel like my parents don't really like my fiance lmfao and I'm pissed, frustrated and disappointed cuz they couldn't say it to my face and treat me like a grown woman. Cried a lot out of frustration that I'm stuck in the middle between my fiance and my parents. I was so depressed I leveled my crafters and gatherers in FFXIV to 100 just to distract my brain from everything. Had a short vacation with irl friends at the end of July to get away from the family issues and had a great time with them (my social battery didn't run out midvacation yay!).
August so far has been... okay? Well, besides my mom is still saying passive aggressive things about my fiance lmao but I already cried it out last Friday. I finally surfaced from a month long depressive episode/downward spiral and now we're here! August should be better than July cuz I'm seeing my fiance again! I can't wait to spend the whole 3 weeks with him. It's also my birth month so I expect great things from the universe because I swear it owes me so much from the pain I felt in July. Great things like... finally getting an email about my visa approval and my eventual departure from my home country.
Also... about my website... 12,000+ visitors WHOAH I'm geniunely surprised people still visit even during my break and it made me really happy seeing comments about my site, thank you so much! I have new plans about some pages so I'll definitely get to work in rehauling some and making some. I'll also catch up on updates with other websites I follow.
That's pretty much it from me. I hope to see you in the next entry (whenever that is lmaooo)
- niki