| OCT | 08 | TUE |
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Hi everyone, I hope you’re all doing okay (cuz I’m not…) These past few days, I’ve been in yet another weird mix of depression and brain fog. Seems like my brain doesn’t want to cooperate with my body but ughghhgh there’s actually so much I need and want to do. So… hopefully this brain drain somehow helps with decluttering.
Moongazing in Valisthea
In my latest post before this, it was FFXVI’s release day and boy was I excited. I mean, I’ve been literally waiting for the game for over a year! I immediately purchased it on release day (albeit slightly late cuz I got distracted by SVT’s streaming day lmfao) and I patiently waited for my download to finish. SEA internet is being SEA internet as usual, so it took me overnight for me to download the game (~110GB). I went to sleep with my PC running and just woke up a bit earlier before it finished.
I was so excited to open the game only to be greeted with: Unable to open game. Unsupported graphics card.
I’m like!! WHAT! I swore my PC specs actually met the minimum requirements. Okay fine, I haven’t upgraded at all ever since I got it 4 years ago but… I did check before and I thought it was enough but apparently not I guess… I was in call with Kerotan the whole time and my mood just plunged to the ground and I actually teared up cuz I was so sad dkjgfdhgkjd In the end I just wasn’t in the mood anymore so I sadly hung up in the call with him.
He continued our convo in our messages and he said he’s really sorry that it didn’t work, I told him it’s fine, it’s probably just my skill issue for not knowing better and not trying the demo before (lesson learned, it’s there for a reason…) I told him I’ll just refund the game and probably just watch someone play it in Youtube (I was typing the message while crying oh ymgdo lmfaooo) then… omg! Then Kerotan was like, ‘babe what if I help you with upgrading your graphics card, we go half and half’ and I’m like ‘UHM PLS it’s fine.. that’s a lot of money that I definitely can’t afford considering my current situation’, and my god LOL he just done sent me $400 for me to get a RTX 4060 and I couldn’t believe my eyes. First, $400 is a lot lot; second, I have no idea how to replace my graphics card in my PC; third, he said he felt so sad seeing me very dejected about it and he couldn’t just sit there and do nothing when he’s able to help me… T_T have I already said that I love him? Fourth, he said he trusts that I’ll manage how to upgrade my GPU even without experience haha! I love how he believes in me way, way more than I believe in myself.
And so I made a spontaneous trip to the PC parts shop and got a 4060 and immediately went home jeez was I so nervous removing my graphics card and replacing the new one, it’s literally a $400 fragile piece of electronic!! Kerotan linked me a youtube video before he went to sleep and I followed it step-by-step and… it worked!
Thank fuck :crying: After updating a shitload of drivers (apparently I haven’t updated some since 2020… ehe!) I finally got past the launcher and saw the actual title screen YIPEEE!
It took me about a week to finish the game. Surprisingly, I didn’t really go full degen in playing the game like staying up until ass o’clock everyday and was pretty tame about it. I actually finished it on October 1! I cried. A lot.
As the credits roll, I was just staring at the screen like
LIKE. It didn’t even help that Kenshi Yonezu was singing with so much emotion in the background. THAT ENDING BROKE ME.
30 minutes after, I immediately started writing down my feelings in my journal. Overall, I rate the game an 8/10 but! it definitely deserves a spot in my personal hall of fame.
me after finishing a video game that gives me a sliver of hope in this seemingly hopeless world and fundamentally changes my perspective in life
Anyway, here’s a transcription of what I wrote in my journal as my ‘review’. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD IN TOGGLE.
- Dion is definitely my favorite character! idk it just makes me so happy whenever he shows up in the screen. I liked that whenever he has to make a hard decision (he made a lot.. my poor boy), his will is strong and he’s determined to face whatever the consequences are. His redemption arc honestly could be fleshed out more… a Dion DLC could’ve been so good!
- The story really pulled its weight. The first two parts of the plot was actual cinema. I love the major boss fights and they really utilized the cinematics so well! But then… after Twinside arc, it fell off unfortunately :(
spoiler block
I mean, I’m so glad the brothers are finally reunited but I feel like the writer’s had a writer’s block cuz it felt pretty disorganized after that. Never really gave much shit about Mid (err name checks out…) and Ash arc was so… flat. So one dimensional. Not even the Eikon fight amazed me that much. BUT of course I have to credit Barnabas’s VA for going total apeshit. Love that for him!- After Ash was a SHITELOAD of sidequests. Like, I know me, I’m a stickler for more lore and characterization but ueueu, the Martha, Lu’bor, Quinten, Eloise and Isabelle questlines were actually… bad writing, at least to me. Like the rising conflict is immediately resolved with one rousing speech. Like in context, the flow is so bad. I guess, Eastpool subplot is better than the others cuz it was sentimental and touching.
- Also I just want to compliment how effectively they made Rosaria so sentimental. Like just the small comments from Jill and Clive about Rosaria during their childhood and how it has changed so much, nothing like the place they knew. It was those little moments that made Rosaria so melancholic everytime we visit the region.
- But! I loved the sidequests about the main cast so much. It gave them so much more depth and I wish more sidequests were about them. I felt a geniune connection with the main cast throughout the main storyline and I’d do anything for them. :”( Unfortunately, we only get one sidequest focused per main character and we got more sidequests about Martha and others haha… It actually dampened my motivation to play for a bit but I managed! I’d wager a guess I’m not the only one who feels this way. But anyway! Despite my rant, I was so moved by what little we had of the main cast. I particularly loved Torgal, Jill, (I can’t say his name here because it’s spoiler but iykyk), Dion/Harpocrates and Gav; those left an impression on me.
- Speaking of main characters, I really loved them. Well, uh except Mid but that’s just me lolol Very memorable cast, they all stood out and their characterization throughout the game was so well-written.
ending spoiler
The ending was so, so bittersweet but omg… IT’S TIDUS AND YUNA ALL OVER AGAIN IM KMS. It’s open ended and a LOT is left up for speculation of the player. But then I read a comment on a Reddit post ranting about the ending that I *may* have originally agreed on (may Ramuh strike me whenever I agree on a Reddit post about a video game lmfao!) The comment said, in the end, they finally got their chance to live and die on their own terms, and it’s only fitting that we as the player don’t get to see nor even control what happens to them from now on. UEEEE you know what, I’m actually good with open endings like this that will invite discussion among people cuz that’s what art is for and video games are forms of art too!!!- Anyway, ahem. Overall, I’d give the game an 8/10. It’ll definitely be with me for a long time… I’m so happy I finally got to play the game I waited for over a year T_T Thank you Valisthea, it was worth the wait…
I know, I know, I’m not the most eloquent person to properly express my thoughts and feelings, most especially about a piece of media that I hold close to my heart… but you know who could write a piece about FFXVI way way better than I’ll ever do? The folks at RPG Site! I always refer to their reviews whenever I finish a game/when I’m curious about a game because their writeups are almost always in line with my thoughts. Their review on FFXVI captured my thoughts on the game accurately with much better wording than my random rambling in my notebook. I highly recommend reading their piece as well as the site itself, it’s spoiler free!
Another well-thought out review I recently watched was this video from Backlog Battle; he explained the concept behind the combat design while referencing the developers experience in FFXIV. Personally I really couldn’t care less if a mainline Final Fantasy game is a rhythm game or whatnot. I really like trying out all types of gameplay and even as a baby action-game player, I enjoyed the simple yet effective approach they went with XVI. But knowing why CBU3 went towards this direction was interesting and after watching the video, it all makes sense now.
My custom TN Standard cover + planner update
On the same day I finished XVI, my custom TN standard cover came in mail! I was like… wow so many good things are going my way today I’m totally going to be unlucky in the coming days.
Ahem, anyway. I love it so much!
With this, I guess my mind’s made up now to finally retire my Hobonichi cousin for the year. It served me well for the past 6 months but life goes on and my planner needs have changed over the months. Since August I have been experimenting with the TN Standard Grid Refill and for my current situation, the compact and portable form of the TN Refills suits my needs better for now compared to the Hobonichi cousin.
As for my 2025 planner lineup… it’s still all up in the air! lol I’m really in no rush, like it’s only October! I have plenty of time to think it through and who knows my planner needs might change again by December. We’ll see how it goes!
Learning Obsidian is actually not that bad
I’m officially a convert in Obsidian and fuck Notion because of how hard they try to push AI into it lately. One surefire way for me to quit the service is the word AI lmfao
I actually tried Obsidian once and it got overwhelming for me quickly because of all the technical jargon I see in the Docs. But now that I’m more uh familiar with such, it’s not all that bad. Youtube videos were a great help to me in learning the system/community plugins which is the major bulk of how I use Obsidian now. I recommend that compared to documentation wikis for beginners.
After figuring out how to make Obsidian work, the next hurdle was the shitload of things you could do with it because it’s so flexible and customizable. I say hurdle as both a positive and a negative thing. I even got a brief hyperfixation on the concept of digital gardens but ultimately scrapped the idea of making my own one because it wouldn’t give me the instant dopamine hit I need cuz a digital garden takes a long time to grow didn’t feel like the right thing for me at this point in time. It’s not like I completely given up on it; it’s a really nice concept and it’s the internet, so it’ll be there when I need it.
For now I’m just using it like an Evernote alternative with my evergrowing notes about random shit. Maybe I’ll write about how I personally use Obsidian someday.
Site thoughts
I’ve been thinking about my site and what I want to do with it. Like, I keep on coming back to purchase a domain but closing the tab anyway without buying anything. I know domains are pretty cheap and upgrading my membership in Nekoweb is just a price of a burger value meal but gdskjghdfkjl I don’t know why I’m being so stingy about it!!
I definitely want this site to be more personal than it already is, and what else could make it more personal than a custom domain! I want one so badly but I don’t know why I’m holding back from getting one aaaaaaaaa
Also I’ve been trying to rework my about me page. I’ve been trying to code a custom layout for it for weeks now but nothing’s just really clicking for me so I’m just stuck making layouts after layouts hahah.. I might just rework the content only and redo the layout later when I feel like it in the future… idk…
Lastly, I might migrate my blog to bearblog. Even though this site is already built on 11ty and I streamlined the process of ‘posting’ a blogpost as much as possible, it’s still a lot of work to me (why am i like this)… Having a dedicated platform for a blog and clicking ‘post’ is way easier than trying to wrestle with code and folders just to publish one post. I’m a lazy lazy person ok! I’ll still have my previous posts as archive of course! Once I finally convince myself to get a custom domain I’ll start migrating stuff there, it’s still a lot of work tho so the move isn’t going to be too soon. I also got a microblog going on in thoughts as an alternative for twitter so I’ll also link here in a more visible location hopefully soon with my custom domain ueeee
Well, I didn’t expect this 2.5k word long rambling but that’s a lot taken off of my mind! I hope to see you again in the next entry and hopefully with a new custom domain… hohoho